So I was going through an old journal a couple weeks ago and I found this little gem. It was an entry written sometime in the 9 month (40 week) span between Halloween (the day my wife told me she was pregnant) and the 4th of July (when our son bulldozed his way out the womb) in 2007. In this entry I wrote down five things I wanted to teach our child (and any future children that might come along. I obviously wrote this before I had any children of my own.
The first lesson I wrote was "Live without regret". That's impossible. Kids don't know what regret is until it's too late. If I knew what regret was when I was kid I would never have stuck my head in that cinder block. Or rode my bike to the park and walked home because I forgot I rode my bike there. Or gotten a hold of a can of white paint and painted my bike, a newspaper to the floor and a window shut.
I could use a lesson on this myself. How am I to teach it to my kids?
The second thing I wrote was "Treat others with the same respect as you treat yourself". Ideally I want them to be kind to everyone regardless of how inconsiderate, rude and mean others can be. Except to his brother. In that case they are free to hit and scream and shove and throw things at each other. Especially if it's because his brother is dancing, singing or just looking at him.
The third thing was "Try new things". HA When it comes to food they've ended up too much like me. If they don't like the look of it or the smell of it (hell, sometimes even just the sound of it) they won't go near it. I want them to play many sports, many instruments, study many subjects, travel many places, etc... I didn't mean try to put water in the sippy cup with the lid still on it. I didn't mean try doing cannonballs in the bathtub (thereby emptying the tub onto the floor). I didn't mean try to turn into a puppy when you turn five so you could poop in the yard with the dog. (Rhy told that one to his grandmother)( Correction:
Rhylan asked his mother if he could poop in the yard when he turned into a
puppy at age 5. I told him, by all means, if you turn into a puppy at
age 5 he was more than welcome to poop in the yard like Nana and
PopPop's puppies, until then he was going to poop in the toilet like the
rest of us human folk.)
The forth one was probably the funniest.
4) Listen to your parents. We know what we're talking about. However, sometimes we won't know the answer. In that case your mother may say "I don't know" while I'll make up something believable. Want to know where eggs come from? Easy. The store. Though the store gets them chickens (and that's the truth!) Want to know what that thing is between your legs? That's your penis (we'll call your pee pee for now though). Those are questions I can easily answer. Want to know how babies get in mommies bellies? Your mom knows the answer to that one. I also wrote about them coming to us for advice and following our rules. We'll see how that goes.
The fifth and last one was "Use your imagination". Mother Teresa said that it takes hours, days, weeks, years even, to create something yet only seconds to destroy it. Create anyway. My children are the embodiment of that quote. Rhylan or myself or mom will create something. Whether it is a tower of blocks or a clean house it will be destroyed. That clean floor is begging to have a cup of goldfish dumped on it and then danced on (tonight however, it was a box of spaghetti). I was going to see how many blocks high I could stack - I never made it past 12 because they would get wacked (though the squeals of laughter made it worth building several more times). Their imaginations are fully functional so I know I've gotten this one right. Coop loves to pretend that dust bunnies are bugs. He'll blow them across the floor and then run and scream that the bug is going to get his toes. Rhy has taken to making up and writing stories (sometimes acting them out when the mood fits). Coop will often draw "pictures" of arm pits and basketballs.
So those were the lessons I had intentions of teaching our kids before we had kids. For now I'll leave you with this link to one of my favorite prints by one of my favorite artists who seems to know about having kids... Brian Andreas This print hangs in our living room.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Influences
I sure hope that as my 2 kids grow up they can avoid "celebrity influence", ignore all their gossip and drama, and not justify their actions based on what any given celebrity does.
One child is already leaning towards being a follower. His "friends" will be doing something they probably (or definitely) shouldn't be doing. Instead of stepping away, he joins them. We've talked several times about behavior and what's expected. But I'm sure it doesn't make it any easier in the moment. I was a kid once... sometime a long time ago (It's been a couple hours now). So I can understand, to a degree, about getting caught up in the moment and having fun. Until that fun is 1) making a terrible mess that shouldn't be made 2) hurting someone or their feelings 3) not doing what he's supposed to be doing.
1 I'm not too worried about. Messes can be cleaned up- unless it's something that's been broken. But I know how much he hates to clean. (He once sat in his toy room and did nothing for 2 straight hours to try to get out of cleaning it) So usually when he makes a mess he believes someone else will clean it for him. 2 is worse. He would never hurt someone intentionally. But he would be mean (argue and yell at) to someone who is being mean to him. I know he would because I saw him do it last week. I've now started talking to him about not being mean to anyone for any reason. Even if they're being mean to him. If someone starts being mean to him he is to leave them and go somewhere else. Even if they deserve a punch in the throat (no, I didn't tell him that part). And lastly, 3 is about following directions. When he's given a direction he needs to follow it regardless of what's going on around him. He is so easily distracted (I think he gets that from me... ooh a squirrel!) (Or he might get it from his uncle). I go all teacher on him. Work and assignments come first, always do your best work, read read read. With a little luck and some perseverance (and some kicks in the pants) some of it will sink in. My fingers are crossed anyway.
This post turned out to be a bit longer than I was planning. But it is what I'm currently trying to inscribe on our children before it's too late.
- Justin Bieber eggs his neighbor's house and gets arrested for DUI.
- Rob Ford is doing God knows what as mayor.
- How many actors (Philip Seymour Hoffman just recently) and actresses and musicians have died of overdosing?
One child is already leaning towards being a follower. His "friends" will be doing something they probably (or definitely) shouldn't be doing. Instead of stepping away, he joins them. We've talked several times about behavior and what's expected. But I'm sure it doesn't make it any easier in the moment. I was a kid once... sometime a long time ago (It's been a couple hours now). So I can understand, to a degree, about getting caught up in the moment and having fun. Until that fun is 1) making a terrible mess that shouldn't be made 2) hurting someone or their feelings 3) not doing what he's supposed to be doing.
1 I'm not too worried about. Messes can be cleaned up- unless it's something that's been broken. But I know how much he hates to clean. (He once sat in his toy room and did nothing for 2 straight hours to try to get out of cleaning it) So usually when he makes a mess he believes someone else will clean it for him. 2 is worse. He would never hurt someone intentionally. But he would be mean (argue and yell at) to someone who is being mean to him. I know he would because I saw him do it last week. I've now started talking to him about not being mean to anyone for any reason. Even if they're being mean to him. If someone starts being mean to him he is to leave them and go somewhere else. Even if they deserve a punch in the throat (no, I didn't tell him that part). And lastly, 3 is about following directions. When he's given a direction he needs to follow it regardless of what's going on around him. He is so easily distracted (I think he gets that from me... ooh a squirrel!) (Or he might get it from his uncle). I go all teacher on him. Work and assignments come first, always do your best work, read read read. With a little luck and some perseverance (and some kicks in the pants) some of it will sink in. My fingers are crossed anyway.
This post turned out to be a bit longer than I was planning. But it is what I'm currently trying to inscribe on our children before it's too late.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Alpacas, Water Slides and a Lost Hat
This all took place last July of 2013 on Prince Edward Island. It was a life experience for the kids and one they will never forget.
We joined my brother-in-law's family (wife and 4 kids) and rented a cabin at a campground for 3 nights. That in itself was a great experience. Cousins, campfires, smores, junk food, bar-b-ques and 10:00 bedtimes. The campground was great. It had a playground and kids entertainment and evening hayrides. It also had a giant bouncy "pillow". It must have been 30 feet long and 15 feet wide and it inflated to a dome and you could bounce on it like a trampoline. At one point there were probably 20 kids on this thing... it was a blast (I loved it, too.)(Of course). Anyway, a bonus to the campground was it's proximity to a water park. It was 36C (97F) on the day we arrived. We were cookin' hot. So off to the water park we went.
It was an interesting layout they had the water park. The entrance was at the back while all the water park stuff was at the front. Or at least what I'd call the back and front in relation to the road. Anyway, as we're walking through the park to get to the water slides we come across a small petting zoo. Thinking the 2 year old would like see the animals we carry him into the small barn. There was a low wall inside and we went over to see what was behind it. At that same moment, the alpaca that was laying down decided to pick his head up to see who coming to see him. Cooper lost his mind. Wanted no part of being in that barn any more. Not to see the miniature horses or the donkeys or the guinea pigs. Even mention the word alpaca and he'd start crying. That was the end of the petting zoo. Six months later he still talks about being afraid of alpacas.
The water made it all better. They had a kids' area with a small wading pool and a bunch of kiddie size slides. I had fun on them too, naturally. The 2 year old learned to float and dunk his head. No alpacas in this water, so it was all good. He was a little otter by they end of the day. Beside the wading pool were the big, giant water slides that required you sit in inner tubes. I took the 6 year old on one. We climbed about 50 feet up and it was our turn to go down. The attendant at the top then told we couldn't wear our hats or Crocs. She told us to just toss them over the side and pick them up at the bottom. I tossed our Crocs down and they landed in the grass. No problem. I toss his hat down and a gust of wind decides to blow. The hat landed on top of the next water slide down! Stuck. We made several trips back to that slide in hopes that if the wind could blow it onto the slide, it could blow it back off again. No such luck.
We went back to the water park the next day, though it wasn't nearly as warm. We went over the paddle boats this time. The kids loved that they were shaped like pirate ships. Afterward we decided to go through a fun maze. Or at least we thought it would be fun. It looked fun. Some ropes to climb through, steps to climb and a slide to come down. The 2 year old loves slides as much he loves water, so why not take him down? Because, as I'm carrying a 2 year old, that half way up a skeleton will pop up like a rabid gopher, hydraulics will hissssss like air brakes heard at close range and that 2 year old I'm carrying will jump out of his skin screaming and crying. Fortunately, there was a slide for us immediately after that so that sort of made it all better - like a band-aid on a boo boo. So now he's scared of alpacas and skeletons that say "pssss".
We joined my brother-in-law's family (wife and 4 kids) and rented a cabin at a campground for 3 nights. That in itself was a great experience. Cousins, campfires, smores, junk food, bar-b-ques and 10:00 bedtimes. The campground was great. It had a playground and kids entertainment and evening hayrides. It also had a giant bouncy "pillow". It must have been 30 feet long and 15 feet wide and it inflated to a dome and you could bounce on it like a trampoline. At one point there were probably 20 kids on this thing... it was a blast (I loved it, too.)(Of course). Anyway, a bonus to the campground was it's proximity to a water park. It was 36C (97F) on the day we arrived. We were cookin' hot. So off to the water park we went.
It was an interesting layout they had the water park. The entrance was at the back while all the water park stuff was at the front. Or at least what I'd call the back and front in relation to the road. Anyway, as we're walking through the park to get to the water slides we come across a small petting zoo. Thinking the 2 year old would like see the animals we carry him into the small barn. There was a low wall inside and we went over to see what was behind it. At that same moment, the alpaca that was laying down decided to pick his head up to see who coming to see him. Cooper lost his mind. Wanted no part of being in that barn any more. Not to see the miniature horses or the donkeys or the guinea pigs. Even mention the word alpaca and he'd start crying. That was the end of the petting zoo. Six months later he still talks about being afraid of alpacas.
The water made it all better. They had a kids' area with a small wading pool and a bunch of kiddie size slides. I had fun on them too, naturally. The 2 year old learned to float and dunk his head. No alpacas in this water, so it was all good. He was a little otter by they end of the day. Beside the wading pool were the big, giant water slides that required you sit in inner tubes. I took the 6 year old on one. We climbed about 50 feet up and it was our turn to go down. The attendant at the top then told we couldn't wear our hats or Crocs. She told us to just toss them over the side and pick them up at the bottom. I tossed our Crocs down and they landed in the grass. No problem. I toss his hat down and a gust of wind decides to blow. The hat landed on top of the next water slide down! Stuck. We made several trips back to that slide in hopes that if the wind could blow it onto the slide, it could blow it back off again. No such luck.
We went back to the water park the next day, though it wasn't nearly as warm. We went over the paddle boats this time. The kids loved that they were shaped like pirate ships. Afterward we decided to go through a fun maze. Or at least we thought it would be fun. It looked fun. Some ropes to climb through, steps to climb and a slide to come down. The 2 year old loves slides as much he loves water, so why not take him down? Because, as I'm carrying a 2 year old, that half way up a skeleton will pop up like a rabid gopher, hydraulics will hissssss like air brakes heard at close range and that 2 year old I'm carrying will jump out of his skin screaming and crying. Fortunately, there was a slide for us immediately after that so that sort of made it all better - like a band-aid on a boo boo. So now he's scared of alpacas and skeletons that say "pssss".
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